He went to rehab. Five hours away for 28 days and no contact.
Addiction is very real. I have lived it all my life. As a child in a home muddied with alcohol, my deepest life longing has become the joyous celebration of a Christmas or an Easter or a Thanksgiving that is not clouded with anxious anticipation of too much vodka and feelings of shame.
I have worked in Addiction recovery for the last four years. Reciting the 12 steps, proven methods of dealing with underlying causes, research on the American abstinence method opposed to the European method of harm reduction.
And I ache, for the beautiful blonde girl with meth sores who dances and waves on Pine and Main every time I pull in to the grocery store.
It is real and it is full of crushing guilt and shame.
However, it doesn’t excuse in whole or in part, the premeditated choice of betrayal.
And so I remain in mourning and continue to wear only black.
I have the alter set up and plan to spend 15 days in nothing but prayerful surrender. I have connected to Sister Margie, who writes the ‘Bring it for God’ blog for the Sisters of the Holy Cross. From her I shall hope to find out how to approach this walk into the woods.