It struck me as funny today (in a sadistic way) how my daughter’s favourite movie right now, Angry Birds, reflects how I feel at this moment in time. I can’t wait till this stage of grief passes. The next stage is bargaining, oh goody.
As I was driving today a song called, Lord I need You, by Matt Maher came on the radio. I remember when this song first came out, I loved it and listened to it every chance I could. Then one day my husband emerged from his music room with guitar in hand and said, ‘Come with me.’ He told me that he had learned to play the song so that I could sing it. He started to play and I started to sing, Lord I need you. Four lines in, I was sobbing from the pure joy of the moment. I was so in love with him.
It’s funny (in a sadistic way) how betrayal robs you, at least for a time, of the joy and love you thought you knew in every memory with your spouse. It’s as though the memories turn on you and there is a little voice in your head that says, ‘You are such an idiot, you actually believed that?’