Last night my husband and I sat with our journals and went through our needs – physical, emotional, intimacy, and marriage deal-breakers.
I was expecting some zingers, something he’d ask for that I felt I was already doing. I was expecting him to show some resistance at some of my requests. It seems, after all, like we are on opposite sides of the universe when it comes to understanding each other.
What really happened? With the exception of one deal-breaker being different, our lists looked nearly identical.
What we discovered? Our most important need is to feel desired by the other person. This means compliments and sexual play. Added to that is the need to set aside definite time to date and time for focused family activities that help us bond. Simple family things like going to church, praying together, eating together, raking leaves together.
My Therapist said doing things that I love and getting my needs filled will have a greater impact on my child then trying to do what my toddler wants to do all the time and becoming frustrated. I hope my toddler will feel the love and security she deserves to feel.