The intent of writing our ‘Needs that must be fulfilled’ was grounded in hope, love and honesty. The reality is much different. We are drifting, each into our own world.
I see the distance in his eyes. He goes to Seattle next weekend to record his album. He envisions the future, the music, the freedom I suppose. It is a future without me. A future where there is sorrow and heartbreak, recovery and joy and it is a beautiful song. And this current end to the marriage gives fodder to that story, to that music, to the lyrics, and to the passion.
I see myself drifting off into the future. Nervous and searching. Must less defined than a story put to music, but there is poetry in that too I suppose. Poetry in the unknown. I ache from wanting him to rescue me, or someone else to rescue me. But that is not the case and that is not ‘healthy’, or so my therapist would say.
There are no victims here, just two different minds that can’t come together. And our little girl who didn’t ask for any of this.
It is only by a miracle that this relationship would be saved.