Sometimes it seems like the world is all rough edges. There is no tenderness and you must push through and fight the battles even when you don’t feel strong enough.
Being a woman, it always felt like my husband would protect me. He would enter the lion’s den first, fight all the lion’s and make sure it was safe for me to enter.
After infidelity, it feels like the husband is now one of the lion’s, the protection is gone but you still must enter the lion’s den.
I know this changes with the re-building of trust and the husband can be protective once again. I also realize that as time goes on and I get stronger, I will not feel so scared of the lion’s den and I might even want to enter it on my own. It’s just so hard during this uphill battle of acceptance and forgiveness.
I keep hearing that song by Phillips, Craig and Dean that says:
Yesterday is a closing door, you don’t live there anymore.
Today I will try to give the rough edges to God and to leave them with him. Today is just all about crying and gaining some strength to keep fighting this battle.