When He Tries

The other day my husband said that he was going to get the Five Love Languages book by Gary D. Chapman.

My feeling was that he wanted to explore and define his own love language so that he would be able to ask for what he needed moving forward. But I was surprised when he told me his reason for getting it was to learn what my love language is.

He brought me a flower the other day. A single red rose. It’s beautiful and I like seeing it on the kitchen table.

I have noticed the increase in affection. The little texts that tell me he loves me. The hug and kiss when he walks in the door.

The weather turned cold and I see his happiness at being able to take our daughter out to make a snowman. I see his happiness at being able to snuggle up with us in the house making a fire in the fireplace, watching a movie, or eating a really good supper.

When he tries, he seems to be happier. And it makes me happier.

I continue to work on my healing with God and books and therapy. I am starting to understand that my value or worth does not come from him or his actions. So although his joy makes me happy because he is the partner I had chosen to love, it doesn’t define whether I will be happy or not in my own life. This is a work in progress.

But it’s nice to be at home with him right now. And that’s okay.

2 thoughts on “When He Tries

  1. You are spot on “…my value or worth does not come from him or his actions.”
    This is what most betrayed struggle with. The feeling of humiliation and a reduction in self worth. Rationally, most understand that it is their work, but emotionally (from the perspective of a hurt person) it is hard not to be affected by his actions.
    I struggle with this too. Your message is a strong one and important to all of us.
    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s